Navigating Burnout and Overwhelm: A Mother's Journey to Cyclical Living
It all began with an adult temper tantrum, something I thought I would never have as an adult. Truth is, after 6 months of survival mode, I was burnt out and overwhelmed with my new role as a mother. I found myself with a fussy baby and a depleted patience cup. So naturally, I walked around the corner to scream and bang on a door, hoping that my commotion would release me from my anger, and also bring my daughter out of her funk as well. While it did feel good to let out my feelings, it was not necessarily how I wanted to behave in the moment. Learning to navigate inconsolable baby emotions was not easy for me.
Six months after my second child's arrival, I noticed my typical PMS symptoms - tender breasts, menstrual cramps, and mood swings. But the mood swings felt more intense than they were before kids. Down to my bones, I would feel such an intense sense of anger and rage, that in my heart I knew I had a hormone imbalance. I thought surely it was because they didn't stabilize after the hormonal changes needed to make the babies. I sought real answers and found a functional medicine doctor to confirm what I knew had to be the case. Nope. The results came back, and all tests indicated normal to borderline optimal system functions. WHAT?! Are you serious?! What I didn't want to hear was that I needed to learn to better manage my emotions alongside the stress of raising small children. This was not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear that there was something off, that it wasn't my fault, and that it could be corrected with supplements or diet. Like most, I sought a solution that was easier than learning to adapt to my role as a mother to two kids under 2.
This brought me to tracking my cycle. I wasn't always aware of how many days a full cycle was. Like many women, I just had a general idea of when my period should be coming. Before kids (or any type of contraceptive), my cycle was insanely predictable. After kids, I expected it would return to its predictable schedule, but that wasn't happening. So I started with basics - tracking cycle days and associated emotions. After a few months, I noticed there was a cyclical nature to how I was feeling. While my cycle wasn't as regular as it was prior to having kids (anywhere from 28-37 days), the feelings and emotions did show a correlation.
From there, a life-changing transformation unfolded for me and my family. I started tracking basal body temperature every morning, seeing the waves of feelings, emotions, and temperature changes as they paralleled my cycle. I identified my grumpy days and started communicating with my husband, helping him understand that my mood was not me, but rather a reflection of my hormonal fluctuations to be anticipated with regularity. Gone are the days that my husband would come home from a long day of work only to feel resentment towards me from seeing a messy house, a napping wife on the couch, and no dinner plans in sight. Now, we have an understanding.
Light bulbs started going off, and I became more intentional with what we were eating each week. Selfish is the planning, but this felt good on a level I had never felt before, and my family's needs for meals were still being met. So naturally, I started diving deeper, adjusting my workout intentions to be in alignment with my cyclical superpowers. I would hit the weights hard when it felt good and focused on rest when my hormones were telling me to slow down. Talk about honoring our body the way biology intended.
I no longer keep my cycle and feelings hidden from my family. I've learned it is one of the most important factors in keeping harmony in the house. My kids are now 6 and 8, and they are well aware of my cyclical needs and capabilities, giving me compassion and care where it is needed (which usually looks like a good snuggle on the couch so I can 'nap' while they watch something on TV). I make sure to tell them if I am feeling grumpy so they can separate my feelings from their behaviors - my mood is not their fault. If I have not updated my husband every few days, he will ask where we are at. He knows some weeks I can step up to help more, and others I need him to step up more for me. That is the balance and magic of it all. The point being that the doors for help cannot be opened without proper lines of communication, and this goes for the whole family.
I sought out cycle tracking to manage my own health and mental well-being. Through all of it I've improved my family's overall happiness and well-being. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that by helping myself, I would be helping my whole family. This is why I'm inspired to assist other women and mothers on a similar journey. We all deserve to be happy...and if momma ain't happy...ain't no one gonna be happy. Right?!